Hot Candy Land

Where to begin, HotCandyLand.com, aka Sweet State, is, you guessed it, a website featuring a massive browser-based RPG-style game known as Hot Candy Land. Your mission in the game is to become the most dominant pimp and porn caster/actor in "Pornwood," a fictionalized version of real-life Hollywood, starting in a dorm with only $200 and gradually working your way up through the pimps, porn casters, and various people and organizations around you in the porn world You become the toughest pimp, the hottest name, and it's easy to imagine my 12-year-old self immersing myself in this game for hours on end, and it's really not that bad if you want to kill some time playing a mind-numbingly boring game.

If you are a functional (or semi-functional) adult who has decided to spend your time playing a game that is clearly designed for pre-teen boys, you might immerse yourself in the world of "Pornwood" and quit after a few minutes of play because you have seen most of what you need to see You might. If you have nothing better to do than spend hours playing browser-based porn games with crudely drawn Western-style art, then by all means give this game a try.

Point-and-Click Gameplay

There is nothing engaging or dynamic about the gameplay of this game. The gameplay is based entirely on a point-and-click mechanic, in which you will defeat rival pimps throughout Pawnwood, have sex with cougars to earn money, and star in a pornographic movie. As soon as you start this game, you are introduced to a kindly blonde woman who explains the whole game to you - because it hasn't been simplified enough yet. The creators of this game knew that only the dim-witted would enjoy this game, and they knew exactly what would excite their minuscule reward centers: a blonde girl in a bikini who tells you exactly what you need to do to advance in this game. You could turn her off and explore the world of Pawnwood on your own, but the game isn't that difficult to begin with, and you don't want to be distracted by such nonsense.

Western-style art

The game's main character has a design and style that looks like something out of a Cartoon Network cartoon from the early 2000s. All of the characters in this game are put together in a distinctly Western anime style, which certainly seems quirky and a little too cartoony for my taste. Don't expect attractive anime girls or sexy, nicely drawn, shaded art in this browser-based game - unless, of course, you get extremely excited by half-naked anime girls like those in the Hanna-Barbera films of the 2000s (this game is literally everywhere (although you will meet them literally everywhere you go). This is a step up in quality by increasing the number of things you can do in this game while maintaining the same quality gameplay in all the browser-based XXX games, which can only do a handful of things. Buy a house, join a pimp group, increase your penis size, enter a penis contest, get a beauty treatment, buy a new car, perform in a porno, learn how to shoot a movie, find and "fuck" hookers, fight rival pump gangs, buy clothes, etc., in a traditional "Grand Theft Auto" You may be able to do almost everything you can do in the game, but all it takes is a few clicks, and none of it is particularly difficult.

Earning money in this game is very easy, you don't have to solve puzzles or play difficult mini-games to advance to new milestones, and you definitely won't have to watch sex scene after sex scene with women in this game, expanding your dominance in Pawnwood and rival pimping The game is all about clicking on the mini-map and NPCs until you get the items and money you need to fight the gangs, which is also done with a simple mouse click on the options menu.

Even the dating sim portion of this game is mediocre.

The majority of these browser-based XXX flash games have always been about meeting new women and talking to them until you get lucky. This dating sim mechanic has permeated thousands of XXX browser-based flash games. Some of them have complex dialogue options to test your wits, some are moderately challenging, and some, like "Hot Candy Land," are extremely basic and very easily predictable. You can literally get lucky on your first date with the first woman you meet in this game. It is very clear that this game is made for people who literally have an IQ of 90 or less and cannot sustain a thought for their lives.

Easy challenge, shitty rewards.

If the entire gameplay experience of this game could be summed up in one paragraph, it would be: Hot Candy Land is a game made for idiots who like to play games with one hand on their dick and one hand on their mouse, because that is literally how this game is played. It's a game where you literally "click through" badly drawn anime that will excite hard-core Western fetishists. It would have been better if there were actual sex scenes, as it is embarrassingly easy to get laid, but there aren't even any sex scenes, so the only thing you can expect is some awful boobs and asses drawn all over the place. If you think you are an idiot, by all means play this game.