TubePornClassic

Ah, Tube Porn Classic. Vintage Porn Tube, a collection of free classic porn movies. The good old days. When porn stars had bushes and porn was actually a movie. People were putting a lot of effort into porn. It was an art form, different from mass-produced 15-minute clips. There is nothing wrong with pornography today. Rather, I think porn stars have gotten sexier and sexier over the years. But still, nothing beats good old-fashioned classic porn. It's what your father grew up watching, of course, before he got laid and you were born.

Don't worry, he's probably pleased about getting laid, but maybe not so much about having you. No matter what anyone says, no man is really 100% happy when a woman tells him she is pregnant. It is not in our nature. Our instinct is to keep going and spread the seed elsewhere. It may not be a popular saying, but deep down every man, even if he won't admit it, is a little disappointed when he finds out he is going to be a father.

Later, of course, they rationalize it away and are happy to fool themselves. But that first moment. Impossible. Children are the death of freedom. And a man needs his freedom. Don't worry, your father got his freedom back when he started fucking his secretary as soon as your mother started dating you, and honestly, I can't blame him. Let's face it, you would have done the same thing if you could have seen the secretary back then. She smoked cigarettes. I've seen her in porn in the 70's. She was way sexier than your mom... He made the right choice.

Not for having you, for cheating on your mom. No, the moment he heard the "good news" he should have dragged your mom down the stairs. But hey, it worked out. When your mother found out about the affair, she came to me for revenge. And I fucked her so hard that she had menopause right then and there. Tell your father to thank me later.

Whew, that got it off my chest. I had a guilty conscience. Don't worry, I'm just kidding, I don't have a conscience. Nostalgia, porno bushes, good porno movies. Sorry, I always think of your mom when I talk about the bush. Seriously, they don't make porn like they used to.

Of course, there were many downsides to the world of porn back then. The main one being that the Internet had not yet been invented. So when you got tired of the movies at home, you had to get up from your masturbation throne, get in your car, and actually travel to a seedy porn store. There was certainly no such thing as free pornography. In those days, the only free porn you could find was if you were lucky enough to find it hidden under your father's mattress or in the back door of his closet.

Finding pornographic videos was rare. Scroll down further and you'll see the site's top models and check out some of the hottest ladies. And at the bottom of the page you will find "New Videos" ...... I don't need to explain what this means to you retards.

Great community feature!

I honestly did not expect this site to have a community feature. And it is quite excellent. You can browse members by gender, age group, city, and country. Once on someone's page, you can conveniently access all the videos they have uploaded, all the playlists they have created, and all the photo albums they have curated. You can also register users, add them as friends, and send them messages. It's certainly a site dedicated to the pornography of the past, but with all the modern perks. I agree.

I believe that all porn sites should have some sort of community feature or social networking component. If you have read my reviews, you already know how I feel. However, porn should never have been the default action when I was horny. Of course, sex should always be the first option. Porn should be there to get you through the dry spells and the times when you can't pussy out.

I think the problem with my generation (millennials) is that they don't have as much sex as the generations before us. I think it's because too many of us are socially incapable of pulling ourselves away from the screen and actually going out and getting our dicks wet. We grew up on porn and seem to think it's ok. Nonsense, yes, get off my lawn... Oh, wait, that's right, you're not going out there, so you can't be on my lawn. Fucking losers...

Some small setbacks.

Well, at least I can escape my own shitty generation by drifting off to other people's porn. And for the most part, this site does a really good job of carrying me along. However, the fact that the only porn that was made in the past was feature-length films has left me expecting to see more feature-length films. However, a surprisingly large number of the videos included in Tube Porn Classic seem to be scenes cut from longer movies, and as a result, many of them are 10-20 minutes long. However, this problem is fairly easy to solve, thanks to the site's ingenious design. All you have to do is find the drop-down bar that displays search results (hint: it's located just below the site menu) and choose to organize the videos by length (long to short). This should help you get your horny way.

My only real complaint about this site is another relatively minor one: you can't download movies. I personally don't download pornography very often, but there are some people who do; some people want to keep it on their hard drive in case the internet breaks down, and I respect that. So.