Smooci calls itself the future of escort service booking. The claim that you are the future of something is always a good marketing trick, but this time we are talking about the oldest profession in the world. What has changed since we visited brothels in the past. On the contrary, what futuristic features of Smooci distinguish it from escort sites of ten years, a year or even a month ago. By definition, there must be something in the future that isn't there now, whatever it is, so I have high hopes.
Maybe I'm just rhetorically imagining this joint, or maybe I'm just bitching about the stoners who are going to spend the rest of the day pondering the concept of the future. The truth is that Smooci.com has been around for a few years, but maybe there is some truth in their bragging about "the future." Here on ThePornDude, I've reviewed many escort sites, and this one doesn't fit the familiar mold. This is an escort site with next-generation features to help you get sex tonight. Their traffic has more than doubled in the last few months, so I was curious to take a look at them myself.
Easier than a blowjob in a back alley.
As soon as I got to the first page of Smooci, I realized that this was no ordinary directory of escort services. In fact, if I couldn't read and just looked at the pictures, I probably would have thought it was a dating site or perhaps a social networking site favored by sexy Asian girls. It looks much more professional than a naked site that looks like a set of prostitute advertisements.
Scrolling down, you can see many different things on the front. There are media logos proudly indicating that they have been published in magazines such as Vice, Daily Mirror and Metro. There's a section of articles and blogs about escorts in China, as well as a selection of real-time escort updates that look like standard social media feeds, except it's full of escort videos and reviews instead of photos of your aunt and your hot cousin's anti-vaccine memes.
Discerning readers caught the main selling point in that last paragraph, but Smooci.com mentions it again on the tour page. They have over 50,000 verified escort reviews.Fans of PornDude know that escort reviews are one of my biggest features when I check these sites It's 2021, and we internet It's because it's online. Because it's 2021 and we're on the internet. What fucking idiot pays for something without looking at the reviews. Smooci has built-in checks to check reviews and remove fake reviews.
The numbers can say a lot about any site, so let's look a little closer: 50,000 reliable reviews are from more than 125,000 bookings, which means a lot of people are taking some kind of action here. But where those actions are coming from. Smooci's currently has 3,057 registered escorts. Given the upward trend in traffic in recent months, I'm willing to bet that by the time you see this review, that number will be much higher. If you're curious, Smooci is putting up a live-force meter right in front of you.
You have to fuck them all.
The layout is very polished and gorgeous, which is unusual for an escort site. They also have user reviews, which is also great. However, none of these facts make Smooci the future of escort booking, as I have reviewed quite a few escort directories that have one or both of these features.In my opinion, Smooci does claim glory in finding and booking escorts.A unique, streamlined system. If you know how to click with your mouse or tap with your finger, you can definitely do it, grandpa.
It all starts by downloading "find an escort" and clicking on the big pink button. The first step is to dial your location to find local prostitutes, just like everywhere else; Smooci.com has escort services all over the world, from Poland to Portugal, from Austria to Asia. There are notable exceptions, however. Unfortunately, Americans are out of luck, at least for now, as Smooci does not currently have any listings in the United States.
However, since your old friend, Porn Dude, is a world-traveling whore, I decided to start my search in London. After selecting a location, choose your gender. They don't seem to offer gay lords here, but you can choose women and transgender, then Outcall and Incall.
None of this is too unusual, since you usually set exactly the same preferences with filters on any escort site. In the next step, the futuristic magic of Smooci comes into play. You choose your own session start time and duration you want to pay for. Smooci then searches for available babes in your area who are ready to DTF on your schedule.I told the system I wanted to fuck a London hooker in my hotel room tonight at 10:30 p.m. for an hour. Smooci. com has over 127 escorts that fit my criteria, so it looks like I have a lot to choose from. Luckily, there's a nice set of filters to help you find your perfect escort, your dream of straight play with a paid babe.
Interestingly, once I went to the filter page, my selection of available escorts dropped from 127 to 59. That's still a decent selection, but not as impressive as the numbers they listed a few seconds earlier. I think this is a result of the inconsistency of their advertising system. They're probably duplicating fucks in the aggregate and probably elevating certain chicks to the top.
Some good, some bad, some good, some bad.
I was in the mood to fuck a fat mama this day, so I ticked off Curvy and searched again. This time Smooci gave me a small handful of escort services, including girls from agencies and independent chicks. A 26-year-old girl named Natalie caught my attention with her high quality shots. She's bloody expensive at £700 an hour, but she works for one of the most prestigious agencies, so that's to be expected.
I really wanted to see Natalie's review, but it turns out it's only for premium members. Most escort sites won't sign you up for anything divine, let alone pay you for anything. In this industry, this is always desirable because you don't want to leave a paper trail that your wife or anyone else might find. However, premium Smooci members can save a little money on actually going to an escort for a few bones a month by reading reviews, looking at photos, and checking age.
However, even if you don't pay for a premium account, you will have to enter some contact information. Instead of listing the necessary contact information like other sites do, Smooci lets you book directly from the site. I click on BOOK NATALIE NOW and they require my name, email, hotel or condo room number and any special requests. The rates are listed in exact numbers, which is good because I don't have to worry about negotiating, but I wish the services offered were presented more clearly. Also, there are a lot of abbreviations for prostitutes on the site, so if you're not familiar with the terminology, you might want to open a dictionary in a separate tab.
So, I ended up going on a date with Natalie, how did it go. Gentlemen are not silent Sometimes even a degenerate like me keeps it to himself. My advice: if you're publishing a review to be read by your fellow degenerates, use a pseudonym as simple as possible. It's common sense, man.
My general advice about escort sites is to check them out if they are in your area; Smooci.com is actually a little easier to recommend than other sites. You have the usual incentives to see if there's any sexies selling their services in your area, plus the appeal of their simplified hooker booking system, which I haven't seen anywhere else. I thought "the future of escort booking" was a lie, but I doubt it. It's all pretty darn convenient. Finding an escort should be as easy as in a world where I can order food with a few taps of my finger.