Oglaf

In the old days, cartoonists and creators had to work with publishers if they wanted to get their work out there. Even the best artists in the world couldn't get shit done without help. These days, anyone can publish their own webcomic, and Oglaf Comics, created by just two people, Trudy and Doug, does just that.

Oglaf.com has been around for over a decade now. It has a fairly rabid fan base, with millions of views per month and thousands of supporters on Patreon. The fact that people voluntarily put their money into it says something about the sex site. Trudy and Doug must have come up with something special.

I wonder what's here.

Before entering Oglaf, you have to go through an age verification screen. This is not too unusual on porn sites. They usually serve more as a real warning than a temptation. They don't actually check your ID. There is some naughty stuff here (wink) and you should never look at it (wink).

It is clear from the warning page that Oglaf is not your typical porn site. For starters, the bad girl with the riding whip and shiny, tight-fitting clothes is a picture of a blue-skinned elf, not a blonde porn star. The warning itself is also much more self-aware than usual.

"Of course, if you are under 18, you cannot legally prove anything. So if you are a minor, ask your parents or guardian to push the button that says you are not."

Apparently, Ograf was originally an attempt to make pornography, but pretty soon it degenerated into a sex comedy. Well, hey, I am a degenerate who likes sex and comedy. Click this "I AM OVER 18" button and see what happens.

Trophy Dick Spirit Free to Jease on You

When you walk through the door, you'll see O'Graff's latest comic, in a one-page-per-screen format, so there's no need to scroll. The panels are a bit cramped on mobile devices, but still large enough to read if you squint. At the top of the screen, you can see that it is updated every Sunday.

This week's comic is "Cloudburst" (I know you regulars are fans of "sithrak"). It begins with this little guy following a scantily clad woman around in a castle. There are cocks mounted all over the walls.

"Is this... Trophy cock?" The man asks, "Did you kill the previous owner?"

The woman is not a monster. You can tell by her cleavage that she died of an unrelated death during sex, and that she preserved the cock to honor their memory. There's also talk about whether or not they eat before having sex, but if there is a meal, it's omitted in the comic.

"God, we're so close," another man shouts as he enters their bellies.

"So close... . to the point of death."

I didn't laugh hysterically, but I get it. It's a joke. But the second page baffled me. Instead of cumming, he pulls it out and shows her the magic cock ring that protects him from her witchcraft. That makes her angry at "that damned corn dolly."

Next thing you know, the spirit of the wallflower is flying around and screaming." The curse is broken. We're free. We're free to chase you around all day long. I'm zinging all over the hooded little guy's body.

I think the last panel is the punchline, but I lost it again. It is of the same woman with cleavage sitting at a table talking to a corn cart." And I'm like, "Noooooo, damn you, corn dolly. All that nice jism was for me."

Jokes about boobs, dicks and bats

There is an obvious learning curve in the Ografy webcomic. If you know the characters and the world in which they are set, the jokes may be even funnier. The whole thing might be more enjoyable if you had some idea of what the hell was going on.

But we already know part of its charm. The webcomic is more cutesy than realistic, but the details are well-drawn and look a bit sexy. The tone is very light, enough to fit in the Sunday comics section of a newspaper if it weren't for the sex.

Last week's comic was about two warriors choosing a shield crest. They agreed to be "bosom buddies," but one guy didn't think the other would really do it. The smiling, bitter warrior taking an arrow to the breast shield elicited juvenile giggles, as did the female warrior who showed up in the last panel with a nut sack on her shield.

We are all mature adults here, so let's face it: wieners and butts and such are funny. Some of these jokes are timeless, lowbrow humor that would appeal to pre-linguistic primitives as well as future superhumans.

The latest comic may have been a dud, but the further along we go, the more gems we find. In one comic, a flamboyant bitch warns a chic gentleman that her vagina is a gateway to a dimension of terror, but assures him that there is no jump scare. We soon learn, however, that the promise does not apply to her ass. You also get a bonus one-liner each time you refresh the page. Some of them are quite funny. My favorite is, "Your cock is kind of tasteless. But I've learned to suck on a sausage."

Ad-free, reader-supported sex comics

If you frequent free sex sites like I do, you get used to seeing ads all the time. Buy some cock pills. Let's look at cam holes. Even on paid sites, you'll see tons of upsell offers to sign up for membership on other sites. Spam is a minor annoyance on some sites and an absolute deal-breaker on others.

Oglaf is completely free of spam. No pop-ups, banner ads, or affiliate links. In fact, they have the friendliest business model of any breast-exposed site I have ever seen.

Trudy and Doug's Patreon, which is linked from every page of Oglaf, says "You can pay for it, but don't overdo it. They only allow people to join from the $1 tier and there are no special perks for those who pay more. For those who don't want to pay, there is also a handy link to view all the comics.

They are not looking to get rich on Patreon proceeds, so this whole activity is truly a labor of love for them. It is hard not to appreciate that. They also have a small merch store with t-shirts, books, prints, etc. I'm thinking I may have to order their copy of the Chick Scriptures to trade with the church people who come knocking on my door.

Reading sex comics at work

One of the few drawbacks of ography is that the comics are not organized. If there is one that you would like to see again, bookmark it. Otherwise, it will be really hard to find.

The Archive page is one long scroll that lists all the comics on the site. There are names and thumbnails to give you a few clues, but you can't skip to the boob jokes or the Warrior Princess jokes. A basic tagging system would be really helpful, but probably not necessary.

I think the reason SFW comics are listed as Safe in the archive is in case you read adult comics at work; Safe has swearing, but no exposed genitalia. Your boss will agree.

Oglaf" (often misspelled as "olgaf" or "oglaf") is not the kind of sex comic you read when you're in the mood to get excited about a superheroine or a sexual version of Lois Griffin. In fact, I don't think anyone gets aroused by this stuff unless they're in the right mood, and given that Oglaf.com is only available on the Internet, aka the porn superhighway, I don't think that's possible.

This is the kind of sex-based webcomic you see after you're done banging. The humor is crude, and if you like jokes about sweaty asses, horse cocks, and vagina monsters, you're in for a blast; Oglaf won't get you off, but it should get you laughing.